20100215

in case of emergency, pt. 6

The money wasn't fast coming in but it was steady. But it was small and I started dropping hints that I wanted more--never suggesting she should do more, but by a week or so she was spending more and more time in her closed room. Things were tense around the house at times, but for the most part she seemed happy. But there was a weird distance there, like there was something she wasn't letting me see. It made her calmer than usual and happier, but I wasn't allowed in and it made me crazy.

I think she could tell I was upset because she started spending more and more time locked in the room. Some days she'd go in at odd hours, after I was asleep, and come back to bed hours later smelling of cigarettes and cheap beer and sleep contentedly next to me. Some days she'd just sleep in there and I wouldn't see her at all. And whenever I'd ask she just repeated her demand that I stay out. Always quiet, polite, kissing me on the cheek. "For us, remember?" And I was starting to wonder if it was. She seemed completely changed, and seemed to dread time outside of her little space.

But I couldn't argue, because she was pulling in a lot more money than I'd even hoped for. The emergency fund was more than full. She didn't seem to care. It had become her thing, now.

By now she should have gone through all of the little statuettes, I was sure. Every day she left with more and more packages to post. And yet the same ones still decorated various surfaces of the house. The supply never seemed to diminish.

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