20100225

you don't need to worry about me

When we finally lost power, I spent most of the night just sitting in the dark. I'd bought candles and I had plenty of batteries for my flashlights, but they're just sitting there on the coffee table, unopened. I probably won't open them before power gets back on. It's peaceful, just sitting here, listening to the wind howling, wrapped in my blankets. Sometimes thinking, but mostly just sitting. I'm not waiting for anything. I'd be happy if this could last forever.

I got a phone call from an old friend--the sort of old friend that you don't talk to anymore but you think about all the time, wondering why you don't talk. The sort you try not to think about anymore. The sort I'd almost succeeded at not thinking about. She wanted to know if I was okay, if I'd lost power, if I needed a place to stay. I didn't know why she thought that now was a good time to call, but I told her I was fine.

In all the times we'd talked I don't think I'd ever been sincere when I said that before, but tonight I really was. And when I told her I hoped she had a good day I really meant it.

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