20100425

locked out

I've been upgrading my locks for the past few weeks. My landlord didn't approve of it so I had to do it by cover of darkness--I was tired of them just protecting my apartment from intrusion, when the biggest threats don't care about the apartment at all. They want inside my head. I finished the other night. Now the locks keep people out of my apartment and out of my head. The best part is you can't even tell the difference if you're not looking for it--so my landlord can't even tell.

My girlfriend has been staying over lately and I wasn't sure about making a copy of the key, so I lent her a copy last night. It felt strange, letting her into my mind like that, but I trusted her completely. At some point in the night I woke up hungry, and found the refrigerator empty, so I went out to buy some late night groceries. About halfway there I heard the click of a lock, and figured I was just imagining things.

When I got home the doors were locked. I couldn't get in--and now I stopped to think about it I could feel that I wasn't welcome in my own head anymore. It was hers, now. She wasn't letting me in. She could do anything.

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