I've discovered I can no longer drink water.

Or rather, I can't derive sustenance from it. I don't mean just the specific beverage--anything that's a drink fails to do anything but make me even more thirsty. I've tried. I don't know if it's actually dehydrating me or if it's just a feeling, but after a few days it's all I can think about. I've tried everything. Tap water, coffee, tea, alcohol, juice, milk, soda. It's all the same: I end up even more parched. I still want another glass, and no matter how many I've had it goes down just as easy.

I'm not sure how much longer I still have to live. Every little ache and twitch is a sure sign of my impending death, now. I'm walking the streets like a ghost, gazing longingly at the happy couples with their iced coffees walking down the street. I'm not sure what else I can do, but at this point I'd do anything.


Ayn Rand said...

B-but... If they are drinking coffee it will only make them thirstier, so it's hardly enviable is it?

Rob said...

that's a myth. coffee is a perfectly viable source of liquid sustenance.

Ayn Rand said...

Well, certainly. But it is also an even more viable source of diuretics.

Well either that or the government's secret CIA aliens abducted and conditioned me as an infant to associate the taste of coffee with bathroom breaks.

Rob said...

also dianetics.

Ayn Rand said...

Apparently, likewise diatribes.

You think the number of di- words is odd or even?

space1in said...

i've gotten dehydrated from drinking only coffee in the morning, almost passed out... but i was 12 and it was really hot outside