what's in a name?

I never spoke her name for weeks when we first met. It was such a beautiful name and to speak it aloud before I really knew her--it seemed like it would be to invoke it in vain. So I didn't speak it. Not until I was sure it would mean something. I gave her nicknames, so I wouldn't have to defile that beautiful name with my voice. Her name was important.

After weeks, I spoke her name for the first time when pleading with her, hoping to underscore my desperation with that word, that beautiful word. She shook her head and apologized and left, leaving me alone, leaving my invocation useless. I don't think she understood.