My girlfriend left the window open last night and a spider got in.

I've always been afraid of spiders. She was out working all day; I spent most of the day watching old episodes of The Prisoner and occasionally glancing at the spider, which had taken up residence just above the door. I was going to go out, but the spider had other plans for me. I could have gone through the window or something, I guess, but it never occurred to me. I was trapped--at least until she got home.

Which she did at about six. The spider didn't move when she opened the door. I told her about it as she walked in and she got rid of it--got him on a postcard from her parents and let him go out the window she'd left open before. Then she said, "All settled, I guess."

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