misguided and a little naive

I'm trying to make sense of things lately, but it's hard to do when everything's all neat and orderly. How do you make sense of something that already makes sense? I think there's just no place for me in a rational and structured universe.

It's not anyone else's fault, really. I just can't tell the difference between moments, since everything is so perfectly orderly and so utterly the same. It's like reading binary. I can't do it. It's just a blur of symbols that convey no information to me, though I'm sure there are others who make perfect sense of it. There's no poetry to a rational universe and poetry's the only way I can think.

But the world keeps happening even if I can't understand any of it or tell the difference between tomorrow and yesterday. It's all too much, and none of it is beautiful or colorful or poetic. Or not in any way I could possibly understand.