new heights of absurdity

If you have not seen one of those trendy patriotic 'support our troops' ribbons, or their derivatives, you are a blessed soul. Allow me to explain. There was a time when people would wear ribbons on their lapels to indicate their support for a specific cause. They were colour-coded, and most important, they were not terribly gawdy. They did not have text on them. Someone might ask 'what's that ribbon for?' and you could converse about the cause of your choice. This was the extent of it.

Following the terrorist attacks of 11/9/2001, plastic patriotism became trendy. By plastic patriotism, I mean the kind that is entirely insincere. At the time, the popular sticker was 'we will never forget' or something like that, and various incarnations of the red, white, and blue. (As an aside, I must note that the French flag is also red, white, and blue. Irrelevant to my point, but worth remembering as you celebrate America Day.) They were everywhere. In a town such as my own, predominantly Republican and predominantly uneducated (the two tend to go together, but we will pretend that these numbers are separate), there was nary a soul that did not demonstrate their patriotism with the purchase of such lovely stickers.

Fast forward a few years. George Bush II, some time after the terrorist attacks, invaded Iraq, war was declared, etc. As is always the case with wars, the nation was divided into those who opposed the war, and those who believed that to do anything but support the war was to hate America and everything that it stood for. (One might notice how this sort of thinking reeks of groupthink and propaganda. I leave you to consider this on your own.) The popular bumper sticker quickly became a little yellow 'support our troops' ribbon.

At this point, ribbons took off. There were red, white, blue, and yellow (an ugly combination) ribbons, camouflage ribbons, and even some ribbons for other causes (POW-MIA, breast cancer, etc.) Some of them said 'god bless America' and some remained 'support our troops'. I cannot speculate as to how it went from the point of lapel ribbons to quietly show your support of something, and gawdy yellow magnets to slap on the back of your SUV. The shape is the same. The meaning is not. One of them says you support something; one of them says either that you are caught up in some form of patriotic hysteria that can only exist if you purchase goods which say that you are patriotic, or that you were feeling generous when a fundraiser, hoping to exploit this consumerist patriotic hysteria, passed by.

I am telling you this not because you do not already know, however, but because I recently saw something which puts this absurdity to shame. It was a yellow support-our-troops ribbon, on the end of an antenna. A ribbon antenna ball. Truly, some people know no shame.

If you would please join me in a moment of silence for human dignity. . .