Dramatis Personae:
Combatant #3.
Shallow Romantic Interest.
Act I, Scene III. A courtyard.
[Enter COMBATANT #3, with SHALLOW ROMANTIC INTEREST.]
SHALLOW ROMANTIC INTEREST: Combatant #3, I am very sad to hear that your good friend and my poorly developed romantic interest, Combatant #1, has perished.
COMBATANT #3: He has perished to the blade of Combatant #2, but I avenged his death.
SHALLOW ROMANTIC INTEREST: Revenge is so cruel! Surely you have heard the adage: "If you seek revenge, first dig two graves?"
COMBATANT #3: I have but I had forgotten it until this very instant. My life of bloodshed and revenge is over. Come, let us have a poorly developed romantic relationship together, for we are brought close by the bond of mourning we have for our dear friend and only occasionally mentioned romantic interest, respectively.
SHALLOW ROMANTIC INTEREST: Yes, let us have a poorly developed romantic relationship together due to this sacred bond of mourning we have for your dear friend and my plot-significant-but-otherwise-ignored romantic interest, Combatant #1. I shall honor his memory by pretending I was never interested in him in the first place.
COMBATANT #3: Yes, and I shall honor his memory by skipping the stages of mourning and immediately initiating a relationship with his poorly developed romantic interest, claiming to grow close to her due to my sorrow at his death.
SHALLOW ROMANTIC INTEREST: You have a depth of emotion that is truly remarkable.
[Exeunt.]
20070530
a confrontation of fates, shocking conclusion
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4 comments:
this is either sad or funny.
The same could be said about you, Jay.
:[sorry
For you belong in 14th century England with flagons of mead and bleak yet superficial women will refill your glass and sit on your knee and you will not write about them but about a maiden you once knew who could only ever be your shallow romantic interest and who would never understand that this was about her.
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