20100126

mistakes were made

One and a half years ago to the day, I was sitting in the sun in eastern Washington with some local microbrews I've forgotten the name of and some people I haven't seen since. I lived in Seattle. I never thought I'd run into them again. It was hot out and we didn't do much besides sit outside and enjoy the late July sun.

It was quiet and peaceful and completely other, like some strange haven from the rest of the world. In a sense I never felt more peaceful or at home than I did that day. We talked about the future, having no idea what the future would hold, but confident that we'd all get there okay. There was no if about it, but there was definitely a when and a how.

I'd since almost forgotten. I met new people. It was a few weeks later that I met the girl I'd later fall in love with, and a few months later that I'd run away from the West coast for reasons I could never quite articulate to pursue goals that fell through right away. I spent several months wandering the country, keeping in touch with her as I could--it was the only thing I really kept.

There was a summer day a lot like that one, except in some little town in Illinois I don't even remember the name of, except the people I was with weren't like old friends at all, and I talked to the girl I'd fallen in love with on the phone. She'd meet me in South Dakota, she said. "I'll se you in Rapid City."

She never came. I took the money I'd saved to buy her something pretty and kept going west. I came home with nothing to show for it and with no idea where my love had gone, except that it wasn't here, and when I tried calling or emailing she never answered as soon as she knew it was me.

Eventually I found someone else and had a very nice relationship with her for a few months, but all things have to end some time. I gathered up my belongings and travelled east again. I'm in some little town in Wisconsin now. I couldn't spell the name. And I looked at the calendar and remembered a day when I knew that everything would be clear and perfect--not if, but when.

Strangely enough I still believe it.

No comments: