forecast

The weather started reflecting my mood a few weeks ago. Or that's when I started noticing, anyway. It sounds like it would be kind of nice, and it was at first. There is nothing worse than having it be sunny and cheerful when you are in a nasty mood. A thunderstorm when you are in a particular frame of mind can be the best thing that happens to you.

Except my mood is pretty mercurial these days, if you will pardon the word here. The weather can't stay stable for five minutes anymore. And I can't stand when the weather's unstable like that, so my mood is just getting worse and the storms keep coming harder. It's starting to take its toll. I'm wet and cold all the time now. I hate going out, and when I do I end up soaked, even if it's not raining.

I've started trying to keep my mood stable, but I'm not so good at that. I read and watch and listen to all the things I like best, but those are such a mess of emotions that it doesn't help. I try to stick to happy things. I'm talking to my girlfriend, who is in Paris for the semester, every day and I am desperately trying to be cheerful, and get her to be, too, but she's just confused. She's accusing me of making fun. And each time, the bright sunny day is a downpour of rain by the time I get my shoes on.