never alone

A few weeks ago I noticed, looking out my window in the morning, a black car with some men in it. It was weird but I figured I was just being paranoid. Then I saw them outside of work, and after dinner at the restaurant. I mentioned it to my coworker, who just laughed and said I was crazy. I shrugged it off.

As the days wore on I started noticing that they were everywhere--not just outside. There was equipment--cameras, hidden microphones. I suspect my wires were tapped. And I started noticing the men following me in crowds and public places, stopping by work. They were everywhere. I told my girlfriend over dinner, and she was terrified. Was I on a government watch list? Was it terrorists? Did I have any enemies? Why were they doing this?

I didn't know, and figured it was best not to talk about it too much more. But I noticed that night that I wasn't worried. The more she looked around the more I was aware that, sure, the man a few seats down was probably wearing a wire and, sure, I think that's a camera at the table behind us--but that didn't really bother me.

"This must be terrible for you," she said.

"Not really. I actually feel great. Better than I have in weeks."

"You're out of your mind."

I didn't press the issue. Maybe I was crazy, but it was almost comforting. All these cameras and anonymous suits watching me everywhere I go, making note of my every move, recording my every conversation. I'm important to someone. They're watching me. They'll know. I might die alone, but I won't be forgotten. And some days that's the best you can do.