not a saint

My biggest problem has always been that I care about my congregation. I don't mean that to say that I shouldn't. But they venerate me for doing what I feel that any man should do. I'm not a saint. I have my own problems.

Recently some of them threw a banquet in my honor. There were several speeches, many of them extemporaneous, about how I had sacrificed so much of my time and energy for these people, helping them with their problems, offering guidance or encouraging words, or sometimes just being there. In many ways I had become an icon. Several speakers described me as an inspiration. Then they asked me to say a few words, as I knew they would.

I told them how I'd never planned on becoming a member of the clergy. I did it to hide from my problems. I didn't plan on helping people or even think I was terribly good at it. I didn't feel a calling from God. Really I didn't have any plans, except to get away from where I'd been before--which was nothing so glamorous as it sounds. I'd made some mistakes and burned a lot of bridges.

Then people started coming to me with their problems and of course I tried to help. That's what it is to be human, isn't it? You help when you can. Sometimes the most important person in your life is the person who happens to be there. Of course I did what I could. I didn't really think I had a choice in the matter.

Their applause seemed so strange to me. I'm still not sure what I've done to deserve this.