protest

The riots have been going on for a few days now. I'm trying to pay attention to the news but they don't seem to think it's that big of a deal. There's lots of shouting outside and they're breaking windows and firebombing cars down the street, and now even at night there's a sort of red glow from all the fires on the horizon. I haven't left my house much since it started, except once, to buy bread. I've been watching the crowds as they swarm the riot cops and throw them off their motorcycles. They set some of them on fire. The fire's gone now.

I just wanted everything to be all right. My sister called me and said that our brother had joined the rioters, last she saw he was chanting and shouting and throwing rocks at the police. She's afraid to leave her home now. I guess I might be, too, but I think I just want to watch. The world is on fire and what I'm really most afraid of is that it doesn't matter what I say or do. If I step out I'll just be part of the crowd, shouting and charging the police, and maybe we'll win or lose but it won't be me.

I told my sister that I'd try to get over there and make sure she's okay. I'm afraid I might not get there, that even if I do it won't matter. There's so much more going on right now than just me, and I'm not sure what to do with that.