hindsight

So, at long last, 2020 draws to a close.

We are far from out of the woods, but all the same all I want to say is: thank fucking Christ it's over, holy fuck. This year has been an unrelenting nightmare to top off the four preceding hell years. But I mean, I don't need to tell you this. You know. You were there. I'm not here to do a recap; you're tired of it by now.

The oddest thing right now, though, is that people are finally starting to have hope. The past several years were bad, and we knew they would be bad; a few people still dared to say "it couldn't possibly be any worse" but for the most part we looked for small victories and tried our best not to tempt fate. But this year? There are vaccines. The fascist lost the election, and his attempts at a coup seem to be falling apart.

It won't happen right away. We are, of course, badly mismanaging the vaccine distribution; there are still opportunities for the fascist coup to cause damage; the start of 2021 will still be a struggle. But suddenly it's a struggle with, if not an end, then at least a reprieve in sight. And what a fucking relief that is. The fact that thinking of a future that isn't wall-to-wall misery is a novelty is pretty sad but that's where we are.

If there is hope, it's still a faint glimmer. But it's there, it's real, you can touch it. People are starting to worry about what happens when the pandemic is over, wondering what returning to the old normal will be like. Will it be hard? Will it even be possible?

Whatever happens, it will continue to be hard. And whatever happens, the ongoing disaster that is the death of the American empire is not over. But there is no shame in celebrating a fleeting victories, in finding joy in little places, in smiling at the fleeting glimpse of light in a dark place.

Happy 2021, friends. I hope it's a good one.